I became a teen mom while doing my form 4. I was 17. It was not the plan. But as they have said many times before, it only takes one time.
I come for a very poor background. We lived in a stick and mud house growing up. And when it rained we were not allowed to move about in the house because the roof could come down at any moment and crush us. So it was best to stay sitting when the rains poured. My mom is an Albino so for some reason she could never really find work. And I think that crippled her confidence. I didn’t like how we lived at home. And going to school I was an insecure person. My friends would come and tell me about parties they attended and how these men who we referred to as “bo Daddy” would buy them gifts and throw money at them. I mean E1000 to give to a school child was nothing to them. Well one day I went to one of those parties and I met this 45 year old soldier. He immediately started flashing his money around. He bought me food, clothes and pads…I always struggled during that time of the month because I couldn’t even afford a pad. But now I was getting everything. And of course as the story goes…nothing for mahala. He wanted sex and I needed to have the things so I slept with him. And I got pregnant. He didn’t want to know and take care of the child. And he later told me he was married. I was devastated. My friends kept pushing me to have an abortion. But I couldn’t. This child had done nothing wrong. It was me. I couldn’t accept my situation. I couldn’t seek help from the proper channels in order to help change it. But I was young. What did I know? I also didn’t have a mentor. It’s only now that I’m realizing having a mentor and a role model…someone to look up to, someone who is filled with the right values and morals really helps to shape your life.
I struggled with my baby. At the time they allowed us to go to school even while we were pregnant. And I did but it was trying mentally and physically. I would get up and prepare for me and my child and have to find someone help watch my child and then come home try to do homework and take care of my child at the same time. I hustled. I would go to Durban and collect bales of clothes to sell. And those situations are hard because you sleep on the street waiting for the bus to Eswatini or waiting to be the first one in the shop to get the best bales. I washed myself in the toilet and at night you feared you would get raped because you literally sleeping on the street. But I had to do what I had to do for my child to eat and go to daycare while I tried for a better life for us.
I felt I disappointed my family. I mean the times they thought I was in church praising God, they didn’t know I was out there with a 45 year old messing up my life. I felt I hurt my mom and my brothers and myself. I can’t change what has been but now thanks to the Brave Girl Initiative I use my voice to tell other young boys and girls that…you can wait. You are worth it. Be okay with your home situation not matter how hard it is. Trust God. Hustle for your family and believe in yourself. You are worth it. Don’t do something that will affect your dreams and make it harder to get to them. There’s a reason why we are young people. Let’s be young and go to school and have fun but wait. Wait until you are married. Find positive hobbies. And honestly keep your head in the books